Weblog

Monday, 06 September 2010

  • Advice To The Hearing Population

    I appreciate that you're trying to be helpful. Really, I do. But just a few tips.

    -Don't scream in my ear. I wear hearing aids, so it's really not necessary. I can hear you, and that makes me feel like you're angry at me.

    -Stop exaggerating your pronunciation. If anything, that actually makes it harder for me to read your lips.

    -Don't talk to me like you would to a small child. There is nothing wrong with my mind, and in fact I probably know bigger words than you do. If you don't believe me, you should remember that I attend a top engineering school.

    -Look at me and don't mumble when you speak to me. It's just plain polite anyway, but it also makes it easier for me to understand you.

    -If you're curious about my impairment, stop staring at me when you think I won't notice (believe me, I do notice) and just ask. I doubt that I would wear my hair short enough for my hearing aids to be visible if I were in any way self-conscious about it. I <i>want</i> you to notice them, because you get less irritated at me for misunderstanding things if you already know.

    -Don't get pissy or tease me when I need you to repeat something. It happens. It's nobody's fault. Take a second or two to laugh with me because we both know it's funny, and then move on.

    -I am not making fun of your accent and giving you a hard time. I genuinely didn't understand you.

Thursday, 18 June 2009

  • Currently
    Aida (2000 Original Broadway Cast)
    By Elton John, Tim Rice
    Like Father Like Son
    see related

    Have Some Thought For Others, People

    As a person with way too many allergies in a world full of self-centered people, I get to see the ugly side of things a lot. Because people really don't like being asked to hold off on their highly-allergenic stuff in public places. I really really hate asking them because I feel like a bother in the first place, but the responses I get sure don't help.
    Really people, would it kill you to keep your eggs, peanuts, makeup, perfume, and other common allergens sealed up when in enclosed public spaces? Like, oh, I don't know, on the bus? I can't very well move to discretely avoid the allergens while on a moving bus. Yes, I know that that egg salad (or pb&j) sandwhich is your breakfast/lunch/dinner. I know that you need to but on that perfume or that scented moisturizer before you get to work. I'm sorry, ok? But chances are that I'm not the only person who is starting to feel those tell-tale symptoms the minute you open that package. I'm not even allergic to all of those things, but I know what it's like to sit there wheezing and wishing that someone who could get close enough to talk to you and still breathe would do something. I don't want to get in your way, and I certainly don't want to deal with allergies, but I can't help it. Is your conscience really okay with causing a potentially lethal reaction in a stranger just to save a few minutes in the morning? Because, IF you didn't get the memo, allergies can be pretty fucking severe. And even if nobody in the room with you is allergic to what you just put in the air, the next person might be. Is it that hard to leave common allergens alone when in an enclosed public space? At least go outside so the particles don't stay trapped in the air of that one space afterwards.
    Oh, and "Just try it." is NOT an appropriate response when asked what a food contains. I don't feel like "just try"ing something that could make me miserable and sick for hours afterward.

Monday, 20 April 2009

  • Just The Blink Of An Eye

    It's a nice spring day, just green enough to make everyone anxious for summer. Reminded of the warmer weather to come, you're at the mall with your daughter. 4, 5, 6, somewhere in that age range, looking for a new sundress or a swimsuit for the summer. You wait outside the fitting room. She's adamant that she's big enough to try things on without your help, and you're just as happy to not have to squeeze the both of you into one of those stalls, as long as she'll come out and let you see the new clothes. In fact, you feel quite proud to see her march in all by herself.
    And then you blink.
    A graceful young woman steps into the doorway in a gorgeous dress that makes her look to be in her twenties rather than 17 or 18. "Well?" She asks you. "What do you think of this one? I'm not sure if I like this shade of purple against my hair. The blue one might be better. I'll try that one next, but how does this one look to you?" It takes you a moment to grasp that this is your daughter standing before you trying on dresses for prom. Prom. Already. And then she'll be graduating and off to college.
    This weekend that girl was me. I dragged my father out shopping for my prom dress, and found it quite enjoyable. He was stunned (in a good way) by the dresses I tried on, though he was quite comically uncomfortable spending hours in the women's section of the store. I really wish I had a picture of his expression on hearing that we weren't done yet and were going to go looking for shoes and jewelry next.

    Has this ever happened to you? Have you suddenly been hit by how much time has passed when it feels like you've only blinked?

Tuesday, 24 February 2009

  • There's A Reason That Common Sense Is Called Horse Sense

    I have been thinking about the kids I've met in the horse business. It's really incredible the difference, especially in those who've been around horses all their lives. They are more responsible, less likely to put themselves in dangerous situations, and overall more thoughtful. They are wonderful people, even at their tender age. Why? Because in addition to the other benefits that riding gives, it teaches respect, reasoning, and safety. There is no greater teacher of patience and the futility of losing one's cool than a pony. These kids have learned that impatience results only in a pony who is even less inclined to cooperate and sometimes an unplanned dismount as well. They have figured out how to win an argument by calmly outwaiting and outsmarting their opponent, rather than by throwing a tantrum or trying to hurry things, a skill that many adults lack. They have learned caution and respect around large animals, a situation more comprehensible to them than many of those given by parents. To them, "Be careful around his hooves because they're heavy and it would hurt to be kicked with them if he gets scared or angry." is much more tangible than "If you cross the street without looking both ways you'll get hit by a car." When they learn to be cautious and thoughtful in one situation, it begins to carry over to other parts of their lives as well.
    An example I saw today was a friend and I in Phys Ed. We were both getting crowded and bugged by our teammates. He hit someone, and I just ignored it all. I didn't like it, but I ignored it. If the horses I ride have taught me anything, it's that annoyances tend to give up on trying to bug you if you don't react. My trainer once told me that the great riders have ice in their veins. They do. I make an effort to do so, and it gets results. Misbehaving horses and high schoolers alike get frustrated and soon give up when they don't get a reaction. Many times I have watched the figurative smoke pouring out of the ears of a friend trying and failing to draw me into a debate. But I digress. Conflict resolution- mature, reasonable, peaceful, and very successful conflict resolution- is a valuable skill that these kids have learned.
    Tact is another. Working as a team with anyone, but especially a large and potentially dangerous teammate who does not speak the same language, teaches observation skills and tact. Tact leads to appropriate behavior in a multitude of settings as they are accustomed to responding to subtle environmental and social cues.

Thursday, 01 January 2009

  • The Piercing Debate

    Almost everyone with kids will hear at some point or other that their kid(s) want piercings. Most little girls want to wear pretty earrings, and many kids, girls and boys, want some sort of piercing come the teenage years. While in many cultures it's normal that all girls have pierced ears, many piercing them at birth, many people shy away from piercing because they fear the risks, or the idea of punching a hole in one's body makes them squeemish. So many people will feel less than supportive of their child's idea to get their ears/nose/lip/eyebrow/other places pierced.
    So what happens when they say no? If it's a younger child, say the little girl who wants to wear pretty earrings, the response will probably be pouting or a temper tantrum. Painful for the parent to see, but in actuality pretty harmless. Kids of this age are also open to compromise. They see it as the only option to get what they want, and their parents as trying to help them. They don't realize that the compromise is being used as either a bargaining chip to get them to do something, or a dead end to try to stop them from doing it without making the parents the bad guys.
    Once they hit the teen years or just about, it's best to just say yes. By the time they're asking, they've probably made up their mind. They WILL get it, no matter what you say, and if they don't like the compromise you're offering, they'll ignore it. There are laws, at least in some places, about age of a person getting body art, but that's not much of a deterrant. There will always be places that don't check a person's age, and ways to fake an ID. A determined person can and will pull it off. There are ways to get around any number of people who are supposed to be watching them without anyone suspecting a thing. And there's always the old favorite: Doing it at home. There is no way to prevent them from getting ahold of some object sharp enough to poke a hole through their skin. By trying to stop them, you will drive them to more crude and less safe methods as they dodge all your barricades. So at this age, the best response is to say yes to their request and take them to the most reputable place in the area and sign the consent forms. It's worth it to make sure it's done correctly to avoid the risks as much as possible, even if you hate the piercing.

xcagedxpantherx

  • Visit xcagedxpantherx's Xanga Site
    • Name: xcagedxpantherx
    • Member Since: 11/25/2007

Archives

Don't worry - your calendar is here… to see it in action just click "Save" above and refresh the page.

About Me

  • I'm a feline teenager with a weird-ass brain. (Note where the hyphen is! No perverting it!) I write music and stories.

Groups

[no groups]

Pulse

Photostrip

[no photos]